


i wish i was a teen idle.

by fatsnape



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Other, analysis of leon, pain just pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:21:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29348826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatsnape/pseuds/fatsnape
Summary: just a short little analysis of how leon felt about sayaka during the killing game!
Relationships: Kuwata Leon & Maizono Sayaka
Kudos: 5





	i wish i was a teen idle.

sayaka maizono, ultimate pop sensation, and leon kuwata, ultimate baseball star. the two couldn't have been more different, from an outsider's perspective. the two of them met at hope's peak, thrown into a killing game that neither signed up for. ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
leon's introduction took longer to prepare for than he originally anticipated. the last thing he wanted to do was make himself look like an idiot, not in front of a 'fucking popstar' ( as he so delicately puts it. ) she was ... practically his idol. even if the two of them had completely different styles in music — the idea of being adored, to have people cheer for you on stage. colour him intimidated! ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
in the end, leon gave up. he stopped stressing himself over 'such simple shit', and went up to her. it was a simple greeting, really. just "uhh— haha, yo! i'm leon, you're the pop-star, right? maizono?" internally, he slapped himself. 'yo, really? real professional, leon.' well — his internal monologue could challenge makoto's, that's for sure. ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
the two talked for a small while, as it was getting later in the day. leon expressed a mild interest for music, asking her how she got involved in the talent industry, things like that. the last thing he wanted to do was come off too strong, so did his best to keep 'chill'. ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
after the two split up, it's hard to describe how leon reacted as anything other than 'fan-girling'. sayaka really was / everything / that he aspired to be, so to say that he was excited would be an understatement. ⠀ ⠀⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
leon felt himself developing a small .. 'crush' ? that's the simplest way to describe it. being around her, he almost felt a weird sense of deja vu. which, made no sense to him. but hey, love works in crazy ways, right?? ( no. no it does not. ) though, as he thought about it more, admittedly he never really saw himself with sayaka, making him think it was a bit more of an 'idolisation kinda thing'.   
⠀ ⠀  
from then on, the two interacted rather little. sometimes leon would come up to her, to ask her a question or two. how she was doing, etc. when he saw her crying to makoto, he wanted nothing more than to go comfort her, to go tell her that everything would be alright. but at this point, he wasn't so sure that it would be. it wouldn't be fair to comfort her with a lie, right?   
⠀  
receiving her note made leon's heart stop a little. first with worry, then with adrenaline. she wanted to meet with him? now? his conscience told him to question it more, but when he remembered how she was crying, he froze. then obviously, he needed to go. she could still be upset, maybe she needs someone to be there for her. and— he could be that someone! ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
leon walked as quickly as he could to her room, doing his best to make sure he didn't run into anyone else. he did as the note asked, and checked the name plates. leon knocked first, but when she didn't answer he let himself in, worry crowding his better judgement. ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
what happened next was ... definitely far from what he was expecting. a knife swung at him viciously , and leon had never been so thankful for playing baseball all those years. he dodged the knife easily, stumbling backwards, trying to save himself and calm sayaka in the process. but, this wasn't the pop sensation that he'd grown to know. ⠀  
the girl before him was desperate, that was obvious enough by her careless actions. the knife came down on him yet again, but this time, leon raised a replica sword that he clutched from behind him, stopping the knife. his heart dropped at her expression, eyes wide and teeth barred. ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
from that point on, impulse and anger took over his senses, and the rest was a blur. a part of him knew that he should've stopped, every step of the way. he never meant to hurt her. he never meant to kill her. i mean, hell, she started it, right? he never planned on killing anyone. it wasn't fair. ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
looking down at her corpse, leon let an overwhelming sense of despair consume him. and he let out a choked sob. "i'm sorry— i didn't— i didn't mean to— i'm sorry—" ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
his clean up was messy, as he only did what seemed like the smart thing to do. but— his fatal flaw was not checking the body again, missing the main thing that gave him away, his name, in sayaka's blood. ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
after disposing what he thought was the only evidence, leon collapsed against his wall, finally giving him the chance to break down. in this unbridled emotion, he smashed the guitar laying against his wall, screaming in anguish. it just wasn't fair, not in his mind. i mean— she had to have targeted him, right? she knew how he idolised her, how he aspired to be like her. that's why she chose him, right? ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
he knew he didn't have to kill her— he didn't mean to. but, she would've killed him. if not then, later. what was he supposed to do? live the rest of his life in his room? avoiding everyone else? what if she— she did something and tried to blame him? he did what he had to do. even if he would've given anything to take it back. ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
the trial went by quicker than he would've liked. much, much quicker. he wasn't even fully aware of the rules— how was it / his / fault for not being prepared? not to mention the fact that he had no intentions on killing / anyone. / he tried to convince everyone, to show them his side. he was in the right! she tried to kill him! but they didn't listen. if he was in his right mind, he would've realised that it was understandable, really. in truth, he didn't want everyone to die because of him. but that doesn't mean that he was welcoming to death himself, either. ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
his execution was a sick joke, a painful reminder of everything he didn't want in life. expectations, a life forced on him. ( yeah, he definitely fucking hated baseball now, by the way. no more 'maybe i'll go back and play on the side'. no, fuck you baseball. ) his last thought was sayaka. everything he could've done to prevent what he did. everything he wished he could've said to her. ⠀ ⠀  
he blamed her. obviously, he blamed her, wholeheartedly. but at the same time, he blamed himself. he knew that he was to blame. he knew it the moment she died. but if she hadn't tricked him— well, shit. no point in thinking about that now. ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
leon cared about sayaka. more than he would've liked to admit. he wanted to be like her, to be friends with her. to learn what she knew from her job. he never did get to figure out where that weird sense of deja vu came from. almost like, he knew her. deep down. but that's 'just bullshit', right? ⠀ ⠀  
⠀ ⠀  
even in death, leon never really figured out what he felt for her. he was so convinced that he had feelings for her— but, maybe it was just leon overthinking. him projecting his feelings onto her, when he really didn't feel much. or, maybe he did. but his idolisation of her still held the power. he wasn't sure, but. at this point, that was the least of his priorities. ⠀


End file.
